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9 Strong Innings
With Weymouth GM Yukon Cornelius
By Lich Feisen / EHSPN
Lich Feisen: Yukon Cornelius... Welcome to 9 Strong Innings.
Yukon Cornelius: Thank you for having me. There’s only 3 other places I would rather be.
LF: What might those be?
YC: In no particular order: my bed, the dog track and igloo up in Alaska.
LF: I didn't realize this show had grown in such popularity that it's in your top 4 choices of places to be. It's been a bit of trouble getting a hold of you. Have things been ok with the team?
YC: Things have been busy w/ the team as you might have seen w/ the trades we have made to improve our team.
LF: Anyway, let's get started shall we? I assume you know the rules....I'll ask you 9 questions and you'll have 3 minutes to answer each one.
YC: And I’ll give you 9 answers.
LF: Hopefully. Ready?
YC: Born ready.
LF: First off, how confident are you that your team will take home the EHCC regular season title?
YC: Not confident at all w/ the way we have played the past few weeks. We suck right now. We’re not hitting and we're not pitching. The only thing we are doing good w/ is defense and that doesn’t' count in fantasy so basically we suck right now.
LF: OK, that's one way of looking at it. How about an overall, and 4th team, EHCC Championship?
YC: Like I said we definitely need to turn it around offensively and pitching wise. I think our guys are occupied w/ the bowling alley we put in the clubhouse. We should definitely look at taking that out now that I think of it. I think in the long run we'll be ok and right in the hunt for the champeenship.
LF: Bowling alley eh? Interesting.
YC: Yea we had some extra cash from the winnings at the dog track and before the IRS came after us we had to spend it and Abreu and Harden like bowling so we thought what the hell... Gotta spend the cash.
LF: Nice. OK, 3rd question... With the youth movement sweeping the league, what exactly is team Shaddupu looking to acquire in the minor league draft?
YC: We've been scouring the playgrounds of the local elementary schools to get a jump start on the class of 2012 so we haven't actually though much about this year’s draft. We'll look to strengthen the team as a hole w/ guys that like bowling maybe some infielders a pitcher and an outfielder also.
LF: I see, that was very vague of an answer, but alas, the time is up for that question. If you could have any player currently playing professional baseball on your team who would it be?
YC: Ricky Henderson would definitely help our cause in the steal dept since he's the greatest of all time. Carlos Lee is having a spectacular year and flying under the radar. He's definitely someone we would love to have.
LF: Didn't you trade away Carlos Lee?
YC: But we'd still like to have him... You said any player.
LF: Fair enough. Next... In your opinion, in the year 2010, who will the "team-to-beat" be?
YC: With all the scouting we've been doing on the playgrounds of the Americas we feel we will have the best team in 2010. There are some 6 yr olds who throw upwards of 27.4 mph.
LF: Impressive. You have some very dedicated scouts.
YC: At that time I think we could be the only team in the league w/ all the crappy owners and GM's here in the ACC so we could suck but because we'd be the only team we would be the best.
LF: You don't have much respect for the other GM's huh?
YC: Yea no I think they're all bums... What's up w/ that guy in Rackvil... What's his name, Rodeo? Yea he's a punk w/ smelly feet... Not a big fan of his.
LF: OK, moving on. Rumor has it you will be away from the team soon, for an extended period of time. Any truth to this?
YC: Yea I have a hunting and fishing trip. Me and some buddies are going over to Iraq to see how many ear necklaces we can come home w/. We found a company online that will bring us around the country and show us the best spots. The team is actually betting on who comes home w/ the most so everyone is really excited about it. Victor has me winning w/ 398 ears and Manny only thinks I’ll have 123. So there's a big margin there.
LF: How many do you think you'l... We're getting off subject here. Next question. How good of a job do you feel commissioner Ellis Burks is doing with the EHCC along with the inner council of the EHCC?
YC: Being a member of the inner council myself... Well I don't know because we haven’t' really met in a while. I'm still bitter about Burks changing the name from ACC... What’s up w/ that? I didn't realize he was a Canuck. Why do we have a Canuck for a commish? That makes no sense... I think the inner council should meet and find a true American to be the commish... The Canadians are trying to take over baseball now that there is no hockey... Those Mounty bastards.
LF: Question 8.
YC: Thank god we're almost done... I’m getting tired.
LF: If you could have any GM in the EHCC working as your assistant GM who would it be and why?
YC: I would pick that Rockville guy rocky road.
LF: Even after all the bad things you've said about him? And I believe his name is Jack Reed.
YC: That way there I could beat him up whenever I wanted... He could get me Fribbles whenever I wanted I'd make him my bitch. I really don't pay attention to names.
LF: OK, moving on. Finally, "Shaddupu"? Where did it come from and with recent fans questioning its quality is there any chance it'll change in the near/far future?
YC: I'll start w/ the latter part...no it will NEVER change. It all came back to when I was a young buck growing up on the island. My mom was pretty mean to me beating me w/ rubber bands. This went on for a long time like 45 days until the 46th after she started yelling at me I just yelled...Shaddupu...from then on she's never yelled at me again. Really it's a childhood memory that I like to relive everyday. The day my mom stopped yelling at me. Who else can say they remember the day their mom stopped yelling at them?
LF: Pee Wee Herman can but we don't have time to get into that.
YC: Maybe some other time... On the way to Iraq perhaps?
LF: Perhaps. Well, thank you very much Yukon Cornelius, GM of the 3 time EHCC Champion Weymouth Shaddupu. Thanks for stopping by.
YC: Thank you for having me... But that's what I’m supposed to say right? Yea this show just moved down on the list to number 38202 place I’d rather be... Sorry took too much time out of my doing laundry.
LF: Perfectly understandable. Thanks for taking it so seriously by the way.
Lich Feisen is the host of EHSPN's "9 Strong Innings." His favorite color is red, you got a problem with that?
