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Around the Bases: Week 12
EHCC stadiums can be more fun (or ridiculous) than Triple-A
By Listen DePleyohs / Baseball Tri-Weekly
As an EHCC expert, I get to go to every stadium in the league, and like previous years, there are always new stadiums to see. With the Green Monsters and Hispanics relocating and the expansion teams, this year has been quite an experience.
Just like fear factor, all the girls here at Baseball Tri-weekly are hot and eat shit. With that said, I will breakdown the league's best Fan experiences.
Jaggedlines Regional Memorial Stadium
From the complementary pack of cigarettes at the gate, to the litter of green beer dubbed "Monsters", the pride of Lungtown knows how to treat their fans.
"We are fortunate to have tons of corporate sponsors here in the Carolinas that have experienced PR problems," said Wally Backman, team manager. "Between the big tobacco and faltering financial firms in Charlotte, we keep the fans happy."
The most notable promotional night came when Wachovia Bank and Phillip Morris were booked for the same night. Representatives from both groups began shooting t-shirts and other novelties into the stands using special fan cannons and slingshots. Soon, the projectors turned on each other, killing two and wounding five others.
Sake Stadium
Located in Downtown Tokyo, a game at Sake Stadium is like a Backstreet Boys concert with free Pixie sticks. Neon lights, school girl uniforms and the most fucked up mascot I have ever seen helps them top the list. Just like their team name, I couldn't understand half the stuff that was going on. At one point, three fans ran onto the field. Security jumped into action cornering them against the right field wall. Trapped, the hooligans bowed at the officers and were let go.
"What the hell," I said. Convinced now that it was ok, my two buddies jumped onto the field between the sixth and seventh innings. Despite one of the best bows I had ever seen, they were ninja-kicked into submission.
The scoreboard is a fan favorite. Every time someone strikes out, it features wild anime scenes that last at least a minute. The entire game is put on hold while Japanese cartoons featuring barely any movement and a lot of trash talk captivates the audience. Perhaps this explains the Oican'tbelieveitsnotbutters only have 25 strikeouts a week.
The Dogg House
My personal favorite. The Dogg house is the only stadium that features cheerleaders. Smoking hot cheerleaders that should only be seen in rap videos and my dreams.
Another plus to playing in Las Vegas is, of course, the gambling. Sausage races around the warning track are far more intense when you give the vendor five dollars to put down on the red one. Unfortunately, I had no way of knowing that inside the red costume was a 15-year-old girl scout who lost handily to a 28-year-old UNLV football coach wearing blue.
The one drawback to the House is the massive championship banner, which dominates the left field skyline. Measuring 150 feet by 400 feet, it is the second tallest structure off the strip. It is one thing to be proud of your victory, but restricting wind flow into Utah is over the line.
Other notable fan attractions
The Pig Pen - Delicious Bacon Cheeseburgers.
Brotherhood Stadium - Season ticket holders not from Weymouth are given free canoes to get to the game.
Cancha de Hispanico - Tequila vendors.
Sisu Field - Excellent seating. It is like going to a Tampa Bay game.
When I am not distracted by the peripheries, here is what I expect to see.
QC at WEY
As much as I have shit on the Canadian team this year, Quebec City sits only 7.5 games out of first place with a chance to improve this week. Some point to the first week lost to Shaddupu as the mental block that has been holding the Piglets back. Now, the hope to wake up on the right side of the bed in the second half.
Weymouth has not been spectacular. A loss to Bridgewater and tie with Golden has left them within the sights of teams hunting for the top spot. Still, Shaddupu General Manager Yukon Cornelius is unfazed, having not made a roster move since May when he picked up relief pitcher Chris Hammond. Unfortunately for the Piglets, and for the rest of the league, Weymouth is so deep they can play at a high level with Manny Ramirez on the bench, Ichiro with a sub .300 average and the worst shortstop in Baseball.
As always, with high profile games I pick the proven winner. Vegas treats me better when I do. I am looking for Weymouth to win 6-4, but that hinges on the Quebec pitching. If they can get back into form, then the Piglets have a chance to upset.
WS at GLD
The best thing for both teams would be a 5-5 tie. That would keep both in playoff contention and maintain the pressure on the rest of the league. With both Golden and Winston-Salem knocking on the door, the ranked teams are forced to make moves. If just one is the wrong move, then good things are going to happen.
So how does this division rivalry shake down? Carl Crawford of the Green Monsters has 20 stolen bases. Torii Hunter of the Gryphons has 17. Combine them and they have one more than Golden's Scott Podsednik, who has 36. That means Winston-Salem will win by one run this week. That, my loyal readers, is sabermetrics.
The Green Monsters have overhauled their pitching staff, calling up Tim Stauffer, and signing Ryan Drese and Asian Ohka, and look to out pitch the Gryphons to a win.
TIJ at PLY
Though they refused to release Octavio Dotel from his contract for three months after he was cut in March, they finally let him go the other day when Manager Notre D. Hunchback learned that his closer was out for the season or longer. In keeping with a sound team philosophy, the Bells grabbed newly appointed Mets setup man Danny Graves out of the free agent pool. The move gets Plymouth back up to six middle relief pitchers, one shy of their season high.
Plymouth's offense has been putting up some solid numbers over the last month, with Deter Jeter and Reggie Sanders as top 100 performers. Expect them to be surprising competitive in some categories, maybe taking one or two. Pitching is a crap shoot. If Bell pitchers perform and produce, they could reasonable take four from Tijuana. With 3 ties already this season, the Bells can play.
Transaction Wire
Las Vegas got some bad bullpen news, when they learned their star closer Eric Gagne will be out for the season with Tommy John Surgery. While they have his replacement on the roster, the controversial Yhency Brazoban, it is still a tough blow for the Doggs. Fortunately, the Doggs 'Hollaback Girl' Mark Prior is rehabbing well ahead of schedule and could be back with the team by late June. "He is training like he wants to play again," said practice catcher Mike Resnihan. "He is really focused and wants to help this team."
Rakeville's Josh Beckett was placed on the 15-day disabled list.
Bizton's Jeremy Affeldt heads back to the DL after straining his groin. His non-production will not be missed by the struggling Markies.
Tokyo signed J.P Howell. In two starts for K.C., the 21-year-old is 1-1 with a 4.09 ERA.
Quebec City dropped relief pitcher Ryan Wagner when hopes of him becoming the Reds closer never materialized.
Listen DePleyohs’s Lock of the Week (3-0): Las Vegas over Bizton 6-3
| 1. | Bridgewater | ( - ) |
| 2. | Weymouth | (+2) |
| 3. | Las Vegas | (-1) |
| 4. | Rakeville | (-1) |
| 5. | Quebec City | (+1) |
| 6. | Tijuana | (-1) |
| 7. | Golden | ( - ) |
| 8. | Winston-Salem | ( - ) |
| 9. | Plymouth | (+1) |
| 10. | Bizton | (-1) |
| 11. | Haverhill | ( - ) |
| 12. | Tokyo | ( - ) |
League Notes
-- 50 Cent will sing God Bless America during the seventh inning stretch at Weymouth's next home game, said a team official. Efforts to get the chipmunk from Ikon's song 'So Lonely' failed when they found out it was a computer synthesized voice.
-- Due to a massive Star Trek convention at the Las Vegas Convention center, and subsequent Herbie movie premiere, thousands of trekkies masturbated to thoughts of Lindsey Lohan in the same city last week.
-- A source is telling Baseball Tri-weekly that Ellis Burks has quietly become the commissioner of the EHCC. The coup was non-violent, and the plan is for him to be the figure head of the league, with the power still residing with the league president and inner-council.
Listen DePleyohs writes a column for Baseball Tri-Weekly. He recently changed his favorite color from red to blonde, but insists he does not care what color Lindsey Lohan's hair is.
