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All Bets Are Off in Vegas
Doggs have their shopping list ready to go
By Kirby Talkalot / KDOG 1500AM
The list is in. Is it desperation or a smart move to trade away some of your best players? The Doggs are toying with the idea with their recent loss to the surging Weasels.
”There are just some things you can’t help. Like getting hit with a line drive, or getting an STD, or straining your groin. This team is good, I know it is, but sometimes I just don’t know,” were the last words from Doggs’ offensive captain Carlos Beltran as he was packing his stuff in the Bridgewater locker room on his was home to Las Vegas to host the Monsters of Winston-Salem.
With the recent loss to the Weasels, who haven’t lost since the first week of the season and are 23-6 in the past 3 weeks, the Doggs have started thinking about what they may need to stay competitive at the top of the EHCC.
“We haven’t ruled anything out at this point. Changing the batting order, switching the rotation, or perhaps trading key players in order to gain some talent in areas we’re lacking,” GM Howe Dogg clearly muttered while sleeping in the Doggs’ locker room. Mr. Dogg has been reportedly kicked out of his house by Mrs. Dogg for spending too much time at the bars and coming home drunk.
“I know no one has a guaranteed contract on this team. We all know that. We just try to play to the best of our ability and hope we don’t suck so we can stay on a winning team. Last thing we want is to be traded away to a team like the Hispanics,” commented 1B Todd Helton.
The Doggs have reportedly created a list of players they will be shopping and accepting offers for in the following week or two. A source, who was killed by snipers trying to present this information to the press, asked to remain anonymous. Part of the list was ripped but this was what was found:
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- C Johnny Estrada - 1B Todd Helton - 2B Tadahito Iguchi - 3B Shea Hillenbrand - OF Carlos Beltran - OF Hideki Matsui - OF Willy Taveras - SP Aaron Harang - SP Orlando Hernandez - SP Eric Milton - SP Bruce Chen - RP Mariano Rivera - RP Joe Borowski - RP Braden Looper |
“We have been and will continue talking to teams about possible trades that could make us better. We have no comment on certain players which we may or may not be ‘shopping’ around the league,” commented Roger Lodge in a recent interview on KDOG, a Las Vegas based sports talk radio station.
Pitcher Bruce Chen commented after hearing his name was on the list. “A month ago I didn’t have a job,” he said. “Now I do and I hear I’m about to be traded perhaps. I don’t care as long as I’m playing baseball and as long as it’s not in Mexico.”
No trade talks have been reported between the Hispanics and Doggs as of yet, which makes most of the players on the Doggs happy.
Kirby Talkalot is a broadcaster for KDOG 1500AM in Las Vegas, and occasionally writes for the Reno Weekly Rag. His self-proclaimed nickname of "K-Dog" has not been recieved well by his peers, but his mother thinks it is hilarious.
